Renée's Little Middle-Aged Child
by iamsupergirl2
Summary: During the weekend visit in Jacksonville, Bella learns that her mother has some unexpected and startling reconsiderations towards her relationship with Edward, her life choices, and the future.


**AN:** An alternate version of Bella and Renée's talk on the beach.

 **April | Jacksonville | Eclipse  
POV:** Bella

* * *

"Back up a second, Mom." I'd gasped. "What do you mean, waited so long? I just got en-en . . ."—I'd been unable to force out the word _engaged_ —"things settled, you know, today."

"Today? Really? That _is_ a surprise. I assumed . . ."

"What did you assume? _When_ did you assume?"

"Well, when you came to visit me in April, it looked like things were pretty much sewn up, if you know what I mean."

\- _Breaking Dawn_

* * *

"How about pedicures?"

Ew. I dragged her away before she could become engrossed with the idea. The beauty salon's door and windows were plastered with posters of scantily-clad women having shiny hair, glossed lips, and smooth skin. There was no way I was going in there.

Besides, I'd had enough of nail polish and so-called pampering thanks to Alice.

After repeated head-shakes from me, Renée eventually gave up on trying to lure me into clothes' stores or salons that came our way. We strolled, arm in arm, enjoying the almost-summer heat.

"You can't tell me the weather is better in Forks."

Keeping my gaze fastened on the path ahead, I quietly sipped my iced pink lemonade. She'd mentioned this topic a dozen times. "Not better," I disagreed. "But the rain just doesn't bother me anymore."

"I know," she sighed.

I stared at the traffic beside us. The shopping center, an outdoor mall of sorts, that stretched out across many lanes and streets was packed. It was a beautiful, sunny day out and it was Saturday. Today was a good day to go shopping, but I knew there was another reason behind Renée's dragging me out of the house for the full day.

I'd been a little reluctant and guilty to leave Edward in an empty house for several hours. The term paper he was working on was just a decoy, an excuse to let him remain behind, while I spent some quality time with my mom.

And what else could he do? It wasn't like he could stroll with us out here either. My mom and the locals weren't used to—or even in awe of—the sunlight sending rainbows dancing across his skin, even if I was.

Renée continued as if there hadn't been a pause. "And I've been meaning to talk to you about that."

My heart dropped to my stomach. I tried not to look fearful or wary as we settled at a picnic table nearby with our take-out lunches. "About Forks?" I asked.

"About Edward," she clarified. "And you."

I dropped my eyes to my nachos, wondering what she had noticed. My mother was a very perceptive woman, and even though Edward and I been careful to maintain a careful distance between us under her watchful eye, I supposed it was silly to think that she wouldn't see anything.

"What about us?"

She sighed and laid a hand on my arm. I glanced up at her to see her biting her lip. "You can't expect to believe anymore that 'it's just a crush'."

I shivered, and it had nothing to do with my drink. Cheeks flaring, I mumbled, "I guess not. We are getting a little serious…"

"Getting?" she repeated in disbelief. "You're already a lot serious."

I wondered how she would react if she knew exactly how serious we were. Of course, there were many aspects of our relationship that I could never explain to her, for her own sake. The way we were basically soul mates, despite Edward's ridiculous belief that he didn't have a soul. The way it was impossible, as time had proved, to live without each other. The unconditional and irreversible love that connected us, so differently from others…

"I knew there was something I wasn't getting about your relationship the first I met him. That day in the hospital. Even then, he was obviously so…" She visibly struggled for the right word; it was almost comical to watch. "So committed to you. After such a short time, he was already so in love with you. It didn't make any sense to me."

"It was all very new at the time, Mom. For _both_ of us." I tried to placate. "I don't think we fully understood it then either. All we needed was some time to figure things out."

But Renée went on as if she hadn't heard me. "And then he and his family moved away, and he broke up with you so you wouldn't be burdened by a long-distance relationship with him. _For_ him."

This was the version of the story we had told her and Charlie because it was mostly true, though "long-distance relationship" was a more plausible excuse than "safety from vampires." And in both cases, Edward did break up with me for my sake.

"Honey, I saw what his leaving did to you." A lump formed in my throat. "And you told me that he pretty much went through the same thing."

Worse, I amended.

"And that's what I'm not understanding. You two are teenagers. You're barely starting out in life and you're already so connected and… dependent on each other."

"We're just in love," I told her weakly.

"But this is different. More intense. You both are very intense about each other. I mean, I was in love at your age, too, and even before, but it was never like this."

Renée studied me thoughtfully while I nibbled nervously on a chip. I couldn't think of one thing to say to her, anything that would make her abandon this questioning.

And I still wasn't aware where she was going with this. We both already knew everything she had just described about my relationship. She didn't seem angry or even worried about the intensity of my relationship that she didn't understand.

In fact, she looked a little resigned.

"Where're you going with this?" I finally asked when I couldn't take the silence any longer. "You think I'm allowing myself to get too serious like every other infatuated teenager does?" _Like you?_

"That's just it, isn't it?" she said quietly, staring at me.

"What?"

"You were never a teenager. We both know who's the adult between the two of us. And it's not me."

"Mom, if you're trying to have the sex talk with me…" I giggled, so relieved at finally understanding the reason behind her worry. There _was_ no reason to worry. "Edward and I… we're not—I mean, he's very old-fashioned about certain…" I took a deep breath.

Old-fashioned he was, but Edward's most common objection towards doing anything beyond kissing was due to his belief that he had very little self-control and that I could be crushed instantly if he ever got carried away, even for a second. Good excuses, but still… I just wished he'd had a little more faith in himself.

Renée shook her head. "I'm not talking about just sex, although it's definitely a major part of most relationships—"

"Not this one," I muttered glumly.

"But I trust you in that regard, that you're being safe—" Seeing me about to protest, she amended impatiently, "Or will be safe whenever you two decide to become physically involved. And… I also trust you to make the right choices for you."

There was a lengthy pause.

"Choices," I repeated.

"Edward's not going anywhere. I think we can all agree that he's not going to end your relationship with him again for whatever reason. He's completely devoted to you. I think he always has been. What I'm saying is that I will support whatever decisions you make—whenever—regarding him no matter what."

My lips were parted. Amused by my confusion, she smiled around a bite of her sandwich.

"Decisions?" I said flatly.

"Sweetie, you're making this a lot harder for me than it needs to be. It's obvious to me that you plan to make him a part of your future, and he you. You're both attending college together. I don't doubt that you'll probably end up living together. If you were a normal teenager, I would probably not approve of that, but you're more mature than I've ever given you credit for. I trust you and Edward, both old souls—" Her lips twitched. "—to do the right thing."

"Old souls," she mused quietly, her eyes far away and her lips still curved up. She patted my hand in a comforting manner.

"Wait, you're actually… encouraging this?" I demanded incredulously. "But what about what you told me about not rushing into things and—"

"And not getting married and becoming pregnant at eighteen the way I did?" Renée sighed. "Don't you see, Bella? Those things applied specifically to me. I made those choices and I had to deal with the consequences because I was blinded by the thrill of first love. I wasn't ready for the kind of lifestyle I'd forced myself into, the world I'd created, so I left it. You're not me. You will make your own choices, and you will stick to them because that's just who you are. Many months ago, I might've been against your decision of going to college with this boy and becoming too serious too fast with him, but after all that I've seen between the both of you, knowing that you two are and will be together makes me more relieved than you can possibly imagine. It took me years to find Phil, honey, and now I am truly happy in life. You just found happiness earlier than I did." She shrugged. "And you've always been better at commitment than I'll ever be."

I had absolutely no idea what to say. I supposed Renée's feelings about marriage at eighteen had only served as an example of how one-way relationships and hastily-made choices could end up. And it was also true that committing to Edward was never going to be a problem. All this time, my only obstacle in fulfilling Edward's condition had been my scatterbrained mother's ideals of marriage.

The real implication of her words began to slowly dawn on me: I'd lost the upper hand.

There was nothing standing in the way of marrying Edward now. There was no excuse, no reason to delay, no stalling. As soon as graduation was over, we could do something private and quick, in a government-officiated building. No one who didn't need to know had to even know. Edward would get his end of the deal, and then give me _my_ end of the deal.

My lunch looked a little blurry now.

"You look shocked," she observed. "Didn't see that coming, did you?"

"You could say that," I said weakly. "It's just weird hearing that from you."

"I should've made myself clearer before. I never meant to imply that the decisions I did or didn't make also applied to you. Now, looking at you, mature and wise beyond your years, and your relationship with that boy, I think it's time for me to step back a little and let you figure things out on your own. But I'm always here for advice if you need any."

"I know, Mom, thanks." I was touched even though I knew that if there was ever a time I needed advice on my relationship with Edward, there was no way I could ask her. "And it's nice to hear about your… faith in my decision-making skills."

She laughed as we got up from the picnic table—it took me a few seconds to find my balance—and headed back to where the car was parked, lugging the many shopping bags as well. We ambled along the sidewalk, the sun slowly starting to set behind us.

So I'd misunderstood her worry, but the sex talk hadn't been as awkward as it had been with Charlie the other day. Renée was, in more ways than one, a friend rather than a parent anyway. But it was difficult to explain my relationship with others who couldn't understand it. And for her own safety, it was best to keep her in the dark.

"I can't believe my baby's graduating and going to college," she exclaimed as we pulled out of the parking lot.

The car's interiors were boiling. She flipped on the air conditioner and turned on the radio on low volume.

"You have to visit me during breaks. Promise me. You'll be even further away from Forks."

Away from Forks. I cringed, avoiding her earnest smile. I would be well away from Forks. Hopefully, Edward would have made good on his promise by then and during the first year of "college," I would be tucked away from civilization, curbing my insane newborn thirst.

"You're coming to my graduation though." I dodged the request. "You'll see me soon."

"Yeah, I know, I know. But still, Florida's a lot sunnier. And there are great universities. We could see each other every weekend." She sent me a sideways, hopeful grin.

"Leave it alone, Mom," I laughed. "I already got accepted, and besides, I'm sure I missed the application deadline.'

"I'm sure Edward wouldn't mind Florida." Renée was not discouraged. "It wouldn't hurt to try."

I gave up. "Alright, alright. I'll look up universities and see what programs they have to offer. No promises though."

She punched the air excitedly, making me laugh again. This weekend had been great so far. I had no idea how I was going to deal with never seeing her again after my graduation. I was going to miss her so much… At least there was the comfort that she had Phil. I had confidence that he would continue to make her happy. Happy enough to not worry about me or why I couldn't physically be a part of her life, at least for the first two years. After that, it would only go downhill before Renée eventually figured out that her daughter was frozen at eighteen.

For several minutes, as she drove, she jabbered on about college and graduation and universities while I thought about another, the more likely future. She was even contemplating looking into apartment- or house-hunting around here for the possibility that Edward and I applied to and were accepted into the University of Florida.

"I even did the research," she told me excitedly. "It's about a little over an hour's drive between here and the university. And I'm sure they've got comfortable dorm rooms. Or if you and Edward would prefer off-campus housing, we could look into that too… You know, that reminds of something you said earlier."

For one moment, I didn't respond, too distracted by the "you and Edward" and how effortlessly comfortable she'd seemed to say it. After being used to Charlie's outward hatred towards him, it was such a welcome change to hear Edward and I thought of as an interwoven being.

Uh-oh. Had I slipped up? Something about Edward?

"About you and Edward, y'know, not being physically intimate."

"Oh." My stomach unknotted. The sex talk again? There was nothing to talk about. "What about that?"

"Well, it's just that you two are going off to college together. Hopefully in Florida where I can see more often, but wherever you choose to go, I don't doubt that he'll follow you there. And you'll be living in close proximity to each other…"

"Yeah…?" I couldn't see where she going with this. Was she having second thoughts? "I thought you didn't mind us living together."

"I don't," she assured me. "I just wonder how that'll affect your physical relationship. Sharing an apartment and actually living with each other."

I still didn't understand why this topic was causing her so much confusion. Did she mean to say that we might become sexually active then just because we were living together? What did it matter?

Seeing my perplexed expression, she elaborated, "Because you said he's old-fashioned. And I've seen that too. There is something traditional about him. He's quite the chivalrous gentleman. Even his speech." She giggled. "It's like he's from another century!"

My smile, albeit an unconvincing one, froze on my face. I laughed weakly. "Yeah. Carlisle and Esme are pretty old-fashioned."

"But that's what I'm saying. From what I perceive about him, it seems a little odd that he would agree to you two living together. I mean, I get that now you two are in high school and live in separate homes with parental supervision, but later during university… I'm just curious to see how things will play out… unless he'll…" Her smile faded into a thoughtful frown and she drummed her fingers on the steering wheel. "Oh!"

"What?" I demanded. Her behavior was beyond bizarre today.

She bit her lip to hide the megawatt smile on her face and shook her head happily. "Nothing."

I sighed in frustration, wondering if this was how Edward felt when I refused to tell him what I was thinking or even edited my thoughts. "Tell me please."

She grinned over at me; she could never keep her thoughts to herself for long. "I was just thinking that before you two move in together for college, Edward might ask you to marry him. I mean, it fits perfectly, doesn't it? Everything we know about him, how he respects you as a woman, and he intends for you to be a part of his future. And you two are obviously going to get married someday. I can't imagine you two _not_ … you know…" She grimaced at the thought. Her expression brightened almost instantly. "I bet he'll ask you after graduation or a little before that. It's going to be so romantic. Ooh, a wedding! It'll probably be a short and simple affair because of the time constraint, but you were never big on these fancy ceremonies to begin with. It's going to be perfect…"

How did she even…?

"Bella?" Her voice sounded strange over the pounding in my ears. It slowly registered that my hand had reached out and my nails were digging into the dashboard. As I worked to relax my fingers, Renée called out again, "You okay?"

Jerking out of my stupor, I locked eyes with her and tried to smile casually, but I ended up probably looking just as dumbfounded as I felt.

She tried to discern my expression while keeping an eye on traffic at the same time. "I'm not mad if that's what you're thinking. I still meant what I said earlier. When he eventually does propose to you, even if I might think it's too soon, I don't want you to think about me. Do what you believe in for yourself."

I nodded and tried to swallow.

"It all depends on when you decide to actually have the wedding," she commented breezily. "I mean, I'd rather you were engaged—for a long, long time—before you get married, just for my sake. Sounds selfish that I'm not ready to be a mother-in-law so soon, I know. Anyway, it's not about me—"

"Mom," I croaked. "Nobody's getting married. Don't even… I can't… This is absurd…"

She giggled. "I'm just saying that I'll support you. I left out marriage in the talk earlier—truly, it hadn't even crossed my mind until just now. I know I've raised you to believe that marriage at eighteen is a mistake, but that was for me, not you, and that was definitely before Edward came into your life. You don't need to cringe at the idea of marriage just because I felt that way for me." Her smile suddenly turned teasing. "Not that you would ever turn him down. I can't imagine you being so heartless. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if he's already considered asking you."

I tried to rearrange my trapped expression to no avail. Ironically, Renée was only too perceptive about things she _shouldn't_ be involved in. I stared at my shaking hands and prayed for death.

She seemed bewildered by my reaction. "What's up?"

"Nothing."

She was silent, glancing between my face and the road. Then she went quietly, "He already asked you, didn't he?"

I blew out a breath, my shoulders slumping. Why did I even bother? "God, Mom, you are not fun to talk to," I glared. "How do you do that?"

She shrugged, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "Judging by the way you've been acting during this whole discussion, and knowing what Edward's like, it wasn't hard to put the pieces together. But the better question is, why did you say no?"

I sighed, fiddling with my hands. "We… discussed it… the possibility of it," I began carefully, "after he came back. Despite those rocky months, we literally picked up where we left off after we cleared all misunderstandings. I was under the impression that we would live together first, then get married after a few years. And you already know that he's old-fashioned and wanted us to marry before making a home together."

"So what was the problem? I mean, besides the fact that you obviously said no because you were afraid of what I'd think. Or was it just that?"

"Not really," I said shiftily. I couldn't very well tell her that marriage was the condition I had to fulfill before Edward changed me.

Renée raised an eyebrow. "So now that I've told you I'm okay with your decision to get married, nothing's stopping you? You'll say yes?"

"I didn't say _no_ ," I cried defensively. I couldn't believe she was on his side! She was unintentionally making sure Edward received his end of the bargain. Where was the justice? "Technically."

"Not saying no isn't a yes," she pointed out.

"I said _not yet_. Which means yes. Just not now."

"I don't know the details, but I'm pretty sure Edward didn't intend to marry you right that _second_. Just to make sure it happened sometime before you ended up living together."

 _Before my transformation_ , I corrected mentally, but she'd gotten his essentials accurate.

I let out a frustrated sigh. "What'll people think? That I got knocked up? Marriage isn't for eighteen-year-olds unless they're pregnant. And even sometimes pregnant teens decide _not_ to get married."

"You're only bringing up the being-eighteen argument because of what I've drilled into you your whole life. And who cares what people will think? You're not them, and they're not you. Are you going to let their thoughts dictate your entire life?"

"Well, no, but—"

"Isn't all that matters is that you're happy with the person you love?"

"I guess, but—"

"But?"

"It's too early for this conversation," I half-grumbled, half-sighed. Then I warned, "Charlie won't be happy. He dislikes Edward so much already because of what happened, and I don't think he'll burst with excitement at walking me down the aisle."

She waved her hand dismissively. "He can pout all he wants, but it's your life to live, not his. And he'll come around about Edward. If he loves you as much as he says he does, it won't take long for Charlie to accept him."

My eyes misted, and as I turned towards the window to hide them, I realized we were getting closer to home. Edward would be within hearing range any minute now, and there was no way he was going to listen to this. I needed to distract her soon.

She reached over to squeeze my hand. "I'm not telling you what to do, and you certainly shouldn't let others affect your decisions. All I'm saying is should you decide to get married out of high school, the reaction people may or may not have is really worthless compared to what you'll be gaining from it."

Yes. And she didn't even know the half of it. An eternal future with Edward. Eternal happiness.

For a long moment, I struggled to find something to say, something that she would understand even if it were in a context she knew nothing about. Thinking back through the entire discussion, it finally occurred to me what she was doing without explicitly saying so.

She was giving me… us her blessings.

Her hand was still in mine. I gave it a light squeeze in return. "Thanks, Mom."

* * *

 **AN:** I realize this could affect canon, even slightly, and at this point, I don't want to explore how the story might have turned out differently. But I did enjoy having Renée actually encouraging Bella to accept Edward's marriage proposal rather than being told about it later.


End file.
